I’ve never fit in

Growing up, I never fit in the way everyone else did, When we played team sports, I was always the last bid. That extra player that neither team wanted or needed, Captains would willing trade me, it was that deep seeded. It wasn't that I was bad at sports or anything like that, I was …

No means no

"It wasn't that bad" he said. As he tore himself from my bed. My body was raw and sore, because he kept insisting on more. I had let tears roll down my face, but still he kept at pace. "It's not rape" he declared. Claiming that I had been prepared, When I said yes an …

The End

So there's this guy. I write about him quite lovingly on this blog, as you may have noticed. What you may not know though is that he isn't really mine. I got to experience pieces of him at convenient times. I felt his embrace but never his love. Today, marks the end if what little …

Crazy and I know it

So recently, I've been doing something crazy. I can't tell you what it is because some people I know read this and they would think I was losing my grip. Anyway, I feel an adrenaline rush every time I test the boundaries. I feel like I'm putting it all on the line and I feel …

The manifestations of my anxiety

Every so often, I'll be sitting in my room and have this uncontrollable need to organize something. This feeling is usually intensified if I have a lot on my mind or if I feel considerably overwhelmed. In the homes of friends this can manifest into a need to help wash dishes and set the table, …

A Little Bit of Heart

Recently I did something stupid, we will talk about it later in the post but it landed me in the hospital. It was by laying in that hospital bed that I realized that the person I wanted sitting next to me wasn't a parent, guardian or family member. It was a close friend of mine. As …

How to be happy

I think it's clear through my writing that I am often times unhappy with life. It's strange when I think about how I am feeling because I live an exceptionally normal life. I live with roommates, I go to university, I go to work, sometimes I meet up with family, I hang out with friends, etc. …

Something new but not yet true

He doesn't make me feel like I'm flying He doesn't leave me breathless, sighing. He doesn't make me want to fall into his arms Doesn't ring a bell or any alarms. Because at the end of the day he isn't you I don't feel half as much and nothing true I don't want to message …

You’re just broken baby…

I guess I just don't understand People say they want the future in their hand That they are searching for forever But keep throwing themselves wherever What's the point in stirring the pot In having relations that absolutely will not Help you find what you are looking for While your friends joke that you're a …

How I look at him

I wish he loved me. I wish he could look into my eyes and see me as so much more than he does. When I look into his blue eyes I feel like I'm miles away. And I can tell him that I don't love him and I'm happy he's happy. But it's a lie …