Off the ball

We’re all trying to be on the ball.

To keep up with school and work and social activities.

To remember to clean our rooms, brush our teeth and put on deodorant.

Why does it feel so hard at times

like doing anything would only exhaust us to no return

like the small things don’t matter

I just cut my nails with scissors because I’ve been meaning to do it for weeks and I never remember.

I threw my hair brush in my bag so I could do it later but I never do

I buy food I mean to cook and add it to my endless pile of frozen things.

I want to do these things so why do I feel like I can’t?

At the end of the day I feel empty and slow

I feel hopeless and hollow.

Does it really matter?

Does anything?

And who got to decide that work and school were worth more than our housekeeping tasks?

You HAVE to go to school.

You HAVE to go to work.

but no one is going to sit beside you while you cook dinner and say “you have to eat”.

Society doesn’t care about your individuality or your mental health.

You’re a cog in their system and as long as you perform those tasks, nothing else matters.




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