So the other day I was laying in bed with my BOYFRIEND and he asked me what I was thinking. See typically I use that question as a means to get him to tell me what he’s thinking about or to start a conversation with him but I also like to use it to my advantage when he presents the opportunity. So when he asks me what I’m thinking about I tend to make it something that will take us a step further or that will actually provoke his thought. I do this because there are a lot of things I think about but don’t feel I have the best opportunity to say. So, given a wide opening and an excuse to bring them up, I just blurt it out.
He and I have been dating exclusively for a few weeks now and many people in my life kept asking me if he was my boyfriend. I didn’t exactly have an answer for them since I wasn’t quite sure myself. So I would just say that he and I were dating exclusively and leave it at that. Leave it to their imagination if you will just as he left it to mine by calling it exclusive dating.
So back to the other night when he asks me what I’m thinking. I tell him “I’m comtemplating whether I could call you my boyfriend and get away with it”. He just kind of smiled and kissed me and said “Well that’s pretty much what we are, we just haven’t called it that yet, so ya, I’d say you could get away with it, girlfriend”.
Gah. It was so cute. You had to be there.
I keep wondering how long it’ll last though. In my world it wouldn’t end and we’d live happily ever after. Because I’m young enough to be that naive. However, I am old enough to know that reality doesn’t work out that way and that break ups happen. Heck, even 50% of marriages end in divorce these days. No one is safe from it. It’s just an awful feeling to consider how I feel about him and how we could grow together but know that nothing is certain or guaranteed.
But how great would it be if he was the one? If I never had to look again because I’d already found my better half? How amazing would it be to know that someone was always going to be there for me?
These thoughts make me wish I lived in a fairytale where the main characters live happily ever after. The movie always ends at that point. As though, once you’ve found it there is no more story to tell because their fate is set. The future is certain. Their world has been made whole.
Once upon a time…