Who do you think you are? Really think about it. Think about everything that you believe in. Think of all the things you aspire to do and all of the things you could never dream of doing. Most of all, think of your morals and what lines you’ve drawn in order to be the person you are right now.
Are you a christian? A vegetarian? a over achiever? Everyone is different. Everyone believes in something that helps them draw the lines they are willing to follow. For instance, most Christians believe in not having sex before marriage so the line they’ve drawn is one where they will avoid doing that.
Everyone has morals. These barriers that pop into your mind when you consider certain actions. These lines that can’t be crossed because it impacts the person you strive to be. You want to believe you are the type of person who wouldn’t jump off a bridge because your friends do. You want to believe you would never get into a car with a stranger. You want to believe that you would never sleep with someone in a relationship. These are our lines and we’ve told ourselves we won’t cross them.
The only problem is, there is a difference between who you believe yourself to be and who you actually are. Who you are as a person becomes clearer and clearer the more of these moral pushing situations you come across. Every situation is different and context always plays a factor. There are so many details behind these possible situations to even possibly imagine one until it is right in front of you.
As an example, here’s a story that happened.
” Waiting for the bus, 10 blocks from school, a girl was being called to by an elderly man in a car just to her right. “HEY, hey there! I haven’t seen you in forever!”. Perplexed, she approaches his car to try and identify the man. “Wow you sure haven’t changed much have you, I feel like It’s been ages!” he said. The girl was confused because she could not identify this man’s face in her mind. Was he a customer at her work? A family friend? A relative from her youth who she couldn’t place? “Hey jump in, I’ll take you to school, no use in waiting for the bus when I’m right here, we can catch up” he said. She hesitated. He seemed so genuine, a nice elderly man whom she must have known from somewhere, she may as well take the ride. Of course being cautious she checked in the back seat for anything strange but saw only a tiny dog and she checked to make sure the door locks didn’t disappear into the doors. She was a smart girl, a responsible girl. A girl who told herself she would never be the kind of person to get into a car with a stranger. But this man…well he knew her. So it would be okay.
The drove a few blocks before he asked her her age. He did it off handed like “how old were you again?”. “18” She replied. “well gosh I thought you were 16!” he said. She thought this was an odd thing to say but of course if he hadn’t seen her in a while it would make sense that he didn’t remember her age.
He went on to ask if she had a boyfriend. Yes
He asked if they were sexually active. No. At this point she felt uncomfortable.
He asked if she was a virgin. Yes. She said yes. Even though it wasn’t true she felt this was a safe answer.
The man went on to ask her if she wanted to make some money. The girl looked at the how fast they were going. 90km/hr. She replied no thank you.
“40$ for a blowjob”. She replied no.
“50$ then”. She replied no thank you, continuing to be polite and hoping that in 3 blocks the man would actually pull up to her school and let her out.
He kept pushing.
“I could be your first, it would be special”
“80$, that’ll go a long way”
“how bout I take you home, make you comfortable”
“I could just fondle your breasts, that would feel nice”
All these are things he said to her and with every passing second she contemplated jumping from the car. He was going so fast though, she didn’t want to get to injured. She played on a sports team, she worked part time. Weighing the risks with every comment he made…she just sat and prayed and responded NO to every request.
Finally the pulled up a block from her school and she lept out. He told her she was missing out and sped off.
When she went inside she told a few of her friends and they made her report it but she hardly knew what to say. She knew nothing about cars, she hadn’t caught the license plate number, she was scared. Her friend sat beside her thinking of what could of happened while her other friend held her hand.
The whole time she kept thinking.
What if he has made a move? what if I had to jump from that car? How did he know where I went to school?
When he said he thought I was 16 was it because he had been hoping to pick up a young naive girl who he could take advantage of?
Why did I get in a car with a stranger?
The last question was also one the investigator asked and all she could muster up to say was “I thought I knew him”.
This girl realized that day that she was the kind of person who could be coerced into getting into a car with a stranger.
This is just my way of pointing out and hopefully helping people see that despite what we think we would or wouldn’t do, when the situation is in front of you, there are so many factors that can cloud your judgement. Clouds that make the lines you’ve drawn blurry.
It is important to always remember who you are and to be safe and wise about decisions. Especially in a society where people prey on weakness.